For several years already you've left me in peace, you have listened. You don't know that morning, you don't know the white shirt, don't know the winter sun, don't know the letter reader. For I want to live, to live I want. Sometimes I remember songs, the most beautiful ones, the ones that tear one apart, I cannot give in to them. And I will bathe my little darling my little screamer my little pooper. I wanted light, I wanted the sea, your hearts were glowing everywhere until they ran out. But tell me would it be easier for you if you knew why. We could go to the Volga, to Samara, to Kostroma. And close our eyes. And lie down on the grass. We could even go just the two of us. Even that would change nothing. Yet the day will come when I give in to the terrifying beautiful voices. And let the black whirlwinds take me and let all my hearts bloom in heavenly fireworks and scatter all over the earth. And one perhaps will fall in your hands. For I want to live, to live I want.
Anna Auziņa translated by Ieva Lesinska